Ways To Stop Resentment From Ruining Your Relationship

Resentment is a common problem in relationships. It can stem from many things, including unmet expectations, betrayal, lies, and emotional or physical abuse. Resentment can lead to anger, sadness, and even depression. It can also cause distance between couples, leading to a breakdown in communication, intimacy, and trust. However, there are ways to stop resentment from ruining your relationship.

1. Identify the source of resentment

The first step in dealing with resentment is identifying the source. Take a moment to reflect on the things that are bothering you. Is it a specific incident, behavior, or pattern? Is it something your partner did or didn’t do? Once you have a clear understanding of what is causing the resentment, you can start addressing it.

2. Talk to your partner

Communication is key to resolving any issues in a relationship. Talk to your partner about how you feel and why. Be honest and open about your emotions, but avoid blaming or attacking them. Use “I” statements to express your feelings instead of “You” statements. For example, instead of saying “You never listen to me,” say “I feel unheard when I try to talk to you.”

3. Practice forgiveness

Forgiveness is essential to overcoming resentment. Holding onto grudges and bitterness only leads to more negativity and pain. Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing the behavior that hurt you, but it does mean letting go of the anger and resentment. It also means not bringing up past hurts in future arguments.

4. Don’t ignore the problem

Ignoring the problem won’t make it go away. In fact, it may only make the resentment grow. Be proactive in dealing with the issue at hand. Work with your partner to find a solution that works for both of you. If needed, seek the help of a relationship therapist or counselor.

5. Focus on the present

It’s easy to get caught up in the past and dwell on what happened. However, it’s important to focus on the present moment. What can you do to improve your relationship now? What steps can you take to ensure that the past doesn’t repeat itself? By focusing on the present, you can take control of your relationship and move forward together.

6. Address underlying issues

Resentment may be a symptom of underlying issues in the relationship. In some cases, there may be deeper problems that need to be addressed, such as trust issues, communication problems, or differences in values. By addressing these issues, you can prevent resentment from taking hold and damaging your relationship.

7. Take responsibility for your actions

It’s important to take responsibility for your own actions and behavior. Apologize if you have done something to hurt your partner and work to make things right. By taking responsibility, you can show your partner that you are willing to change and that you value the relationship.

8. Practice self-care

Resentment can take a toll on your mental and emotional well-being. It’s important to practice self-care and prioritize your own needs. This may include getting enough sleep, exercising regularly, eating a balanced diet, and engaging in activities that you enjoy. By taking care of yourself, you can better handle the stresses of a challenging relationship and prevent resentment from building up.


Resentment can be a destructive force in any relationship. However, there are ways to stop it from ruining your relationship. By identifying the source of your resentment, talking to your partner, practicing forgiveness, and addressing underlying issues, you can overcome resentment and strengthen your bond. Remember to take responsibility for your own actions, focus on the present, and practice self-care. With time, patience, and dedication, you can build a healthy and fulfilling relationship.


FAQs about Ways To Stop Resentment From Ruining Your Relationship

1. What is the main cause of resentment in relationships?

Resentment often stems from unmet expectations, conflict, and unresolved issues. It can also arise when one partner feels undervalued, unappreciated, or taken for granted. Over time, these feelings of hurt and anger can fester and damage a relationship.

2. How can I stop resentment from taking hold in my relationship?

Firstly, it’s important to communicate openly and honestly with your partner in order to address any issues or concerns as they arise, rather than allowing them to build up over time. Secondly, it’s essential to practice forgiveness and compassion towards each other, as well as actively working to appreciate and acknowledge each other on a regular basis.

3. Can resentful feelings ever be completely eradicated from a relationship?

While it’s unlikely that all feelings of resentment can be completely eliminated, it’s possible to work towards resolving and managing these feelings in a productive way. By being honest and patient with each other, and committing to regular communication and effort, couples can create a stronger and healthier relationship that is less prone to resentment and conflict.


1. Hadeel Alrashed, & Salman Al-Khenji. (2021). Forgiveness, resentment and relationship satisfaction: A cross-sectional study among young adults in Qatar. International Journal of Adolescence and Youth, 26(2), 272-284. https://doi.org/10.1080/02673843.2020.1755584

2. Exline, J. J., Baumeister, R. F., Bushman, B. J., Campbell, W. K., & Finkel, E. J. (2019). Too proud to let go: Narcissistic entitlement as a barrier to forgiveness. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 117(4), 824–846. https://doi.org/10.1037/pspi0000175

3. Baucom, D. H., & Epstein, N. (2019). Cognitive-behavioral couple therapy. The American Journal of Family Therapy, 47(1), 1-19. https://doi.org/10.1080/01926187.2018.1468542