Sexless Marriage: Understanding the Causes and Seeking Solutions


Marriage is a sacred and beautiful bond that two people enter into with love, respect and trust. However, sometimes a marriage can become sexless, meaning a couple can go months or even years without any sexual intimacy. It can lead to feelings of frustration, loneliness, and even guilt for both partners. Lack of sex in a marriage can have a huge impact on the overall emotional and mental health of both individuals in the relationship. In this article, we will delve into the reasons why a marriage can become sexless and what can be done to combat it.

What is a Sexless Marriage?

A sexless marriage is defined as a marriage where the couple has little to no sexual activity. Typically, it is defined as having sex less than 10 times per year. However, this definition can vary depending on the individual couple. Generally, a lack of sexual intimacy in a marriage can lead to feelings of frustration, loneliness, and resentment.

Why Does a Sexless Marriage Occur?

There can be many reasons why a marriage becomes sexless. It is essential to identify and understand the cause of the problem as it can help in seeking appropriate solutions.

Medical Problems or Side Effects of Medications

Medical conditions such as chronic pain, menopause, and hormonal imbalances can cause a decrease in libido or sexual activity in both men and women. Additionally, some medications such as antidepressants, blood pressure medications, and other prescription drugs can cause sexual dysfunction in men and women.

Stress and Anxiety

Stress and anxiety are common causes of a sexless marriage. The daily pressures of work, family, and other responsibilities can take a toll on the sexual desire of a person. Chronic stress can affect both physical and psychological health, leading to an overall reduction in sexual desire.

Relationship Problems

Marital issues such as lack of communication, infidelity, unresolved conflicts, and resentment can lead to a lack of physical intimacy. Lack of emotional intimacy can also lead to a lack of physical intimacy.

Childbirth and Childrearing

Childbirth and childrearing can put a strain on a couple’s sexual relationship. Women may experience physical discomfort or hormonal changes after childbirth, which can decrease sexual desire. Childrearing can be time-consuming and exhausting, making it a daunting task to make time for sexual intimacy.

Aging and Changing Bodies

Aging can lead to changes in the body, including changes in the sexual anatomy and hormonal fluctuations. The decrease in testosterone levels can lead to a decrease in sexual desire in men, while women experience a decrease in sexual desire because of menopause.

What Can Be Done?

It is possible to address a sexless marriage by seeking appropriate help and engaging in activities that promote sexual intimacy.

Seek Professional Help

If the root of a sexless marriage is a medical condition, it is essential to consult a healthcare provider to address the problem. Additionally, if the cause of a sexless marriage is due to relationship issues such as infidelity, lack of communication or unresolved conflicts, seeking the help of a couple’s therapist or a sex therapist can be beneficial.

Communicate Openly

It is important to communicate openly about sexual desires, preferences, and concerns with one another. Communication can help in identifying and addressing the factors that contribute to a sexless marriage.

Set Realistic Expectations

It is important to recognize that sexless marriages do not necessarily mean a complete lack of intimacy. Engaging in other activities such as cuddling, kissing, and holding hands can help in establishing intimacy.

Create Time for Intimacy

Creating time for sexual intimacy is crucial. Ensure that you prioritize making time for sexual encounters, whether it’s taking a weekend getaway or simply scheduling a date night.

Exercise and Stay Healthy

Exercise has been proven to increase libido, as it promotes the production of hormones such as testosterone and endorphins, which are essential for sexual drive. Additionally, staying healthy by maintaining a healthy diet, getting sufficient sleep, and managing stress levels can also increase sexual drive.

Introduce Variety

Introducing variety into sexual activities can help rekindle the sexual desire and combat a sexless marriage. Engaging in new sexual positions, exploring new fantasies, or incorporating sex toys into your sex life can add some spice to your relationship.


Sexless marriage can be caused by various factors, including medical problems, relationship issues, stress and anxiety, and childbirth. However, seeking professional help and open communication can help in determining the root cause and finding a solution. It is essential to prioritize sexual intimacy and establish realistic expectations while introducing variety into sexual activities. A sex-filled marriage is not an impossible feat, and with the right approach, a couple can reignite their sexual spark and enjoy a fulfilling and intimate marriage.


FAQs about Sexless Marriage

What is a sexless marriage?

A sexless marriage is a relationship where sexual intimacy between partners is absent, infrequent, or significantly declined. This is typically defined as having sex less than ten times a year. It is not uncommon for couples to experience periods of low sexual activity, but when it becomes a long-term issue, it can lead to emotional distance and relationship problems.

What are some common causes of a sexless marriage?

There are many reasons why a couple may experience a sexless marriage. Factors that can contribute include physical or psychological health issues, differences in libido, stressful life events, relationship conflicts, changes in lifestyle or routines, and dissatisfaction with the sexual relationship. Communication, trust, and honesty are key in addressing these issues and finding solutions that work for both partners.

What are the implications of a sexless marriage?

A sexless marriage can have a significant impact on the emotional and physical well-being of both partners. It can lead to feelings of frustration, rejection, and loneliness, as well as low self-esteem and a lack of intimacy. It may also increase the risk of infidelity or divorce. Seeking professional help, such as couples therapy, can be an effective way to address the underlying issues and improve the sexual relationship.


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