Serial Monogamist: What it Means and How to Spot One

Serial monogamist is a term used to describe people who date one person after another without taking a break in between relationships. They typically seek a long-term commitment with each partner, but if the relationship does not work out, they immediately move on to another one.

What Defines a Serial Monogamist?

Serial monogamists often prioritize being in a relationship over being single. They are not interested in casual dating or hookups, and they usually have a pattern of starting a new relationship almost as soon as one ends.

What sets serial monogamists apart from regular daters is that they take relationships very seriously. They often have a strong desire for emotional connection and intimacy, and they are not content with flings or short-term relationships. They put in a lot of effort to create strong bonds and maintain them, but when things don’t work out, they are quick to move on.

The Pros and Cons of Being a Serial Monogamist

As with any lifestyle choice, being a serial monogamist has its pros and cons. Here are some of them:

Pros

  • Less time spent single: Serial monogamists often have a partner to lean on and share their life with, which can be comforting and fulfilling.
  • More focused dating: Since they are not interested in casual dating, serial monogamists can focus their energy on finding the right person for a long-term relationship.
  • Greater depth of emotional connection: Serial monogamists are often able to create and maintain deeper emotional connections with their partners since they prioritize intimacy and commitment.

Cons

  • Burnout from constantly seeking a relationship: Serial monogamists may feel pressure to constantly find a new partner, which can be emotionally draining.
  • Skipping important self-reflection: Moving from one relationship to the next without taking a break can prevent serial monogamists from reflecting on what went wrong in previous relationships and making changes to their behavior.
  • Making the wrong choice: Serial monogamists may feel pressured to find a new partner quickly, which can lead them to make hasty decisions and end up in relationships that are not right for them.

How to Spot a Serial Monogamist

Serial monogamists can be difficult to spot since they often appear to be very committed and dedicated partners. But there are a few signs to watch out for:

  • They always have a partner: Serial monogamists rarely spend any significant amount of time single between relationships.
  • They prioritize relationships: They will go out of their way to find a new partner if they feel their current relationship is not working out.
  • They are comfortable with commitment: Serial monogamists have no problem committing to someone for an extended period of time and building a long-term relationship.
  • They prefer long-term relationships: They are not interested in casual dating or flings, and they look for partners who want a committed, long-term relationship like they do.

Is Being a Serial Monogamist Good or Bad?

Whether being a serial monogamist is good or bad depends on the individual person and what they are looking for in life. For people who prioritize long-term relationships, being a serial monogamist may be the best path. For others who want more variety and freedom, being single or casually dating might be a better choice.

The most important thing is to make sure that you are making conscious choices about your relationships and not just defaulting to a pattern of behavior because you are afraid of being alone or don’t know what else to do.

Conclusion

Serial monogamists are people who prefer long-term relationships and are quick to find a new partner if a relationship does not work out. While there are pros and cons to this lifestyle, the most important thing is to make conscious choices about your relationships and to ensure that you are finding fulfillment and happiness in your life.

FAQs

1. What is a serial monogamist?

A serial monogamist is a person who enters into a series of monogamous relationships one after another, without taking long breaks in between. They typically have a pattern of starting a new relationship soon after a previous one ends.

2. Is being a serial monogamist a bad thing?

It’s not inherently bad to be a serial monogamist, but it can be problematic if the person is constantly seeking out new relationships as a way to avoid dealing with their own issues or to distract themselves from personal growth. It’s important to take time to reflect and work on oneself between relationships.

3. Can a serial monogamist have a successful long-term relationship?

Yes, a serial monogamist can absolutely have a successful long-term relationship. However, it may take some effort to break the pattern of quickly jumping from one relationship to the next. It’s important to be mindful of one’s own emotional needs and to communicate openly with one’s partner about any issues that arise.


References

1. Fisher, H. E. (2019). Serial monogamy in human mating: Modifying and testing the allocation rule. Frontiers in Psychology, 10, 1809. Retrieved from https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.01809

2. Gangestad, S. W., & Simpson, J. A. (2000). The evolution of human mating: Trade-offs and strategic pluralism. Behavioral and Brain Sciences, 23(4), 573-587. Retrieved from https://doi.org/10.1017/S0140525X0000337X

3. Rodd, J., & Donnelly, D. A. (2018). The curious case of the ‘habitual’ serial monogamist: An exploratory study of mate choice in sequential relationships. PLoS ONE, 13(12), e0208362. Retrieved from https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0208362