Loving Someone with Asperger’s Syndrome

Asperger’s Syndrome is a neurodevelopmental disorder that is part of the Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). It is named after Hans Asperger, an Austrian pediatrician, who first described the condition in 1944. People with Asperger’s Syndrome have challenges in social interaction, communication, and non-verbal communication skills. They often engage in repetitive behaviors and exhibit a restricted range of interests or activities.

Understanding Asperger’s Syndrome

Asperger’s Syndrome is considered a high-functioning form of autism as individuals with this disorder usually have average or above-average intelligence. They may have marked difficulty with social skills and communication, which can impact their ability to form typical friendships or romantic relationships. People with Asperger’s may also experience sensory difficulties, such as hypersensitivity to loud noises, lights, or specific textures.

Signs and Symptoms of Asperger’s Syndrome

It’s important to note that every person with Asperger’s Syndrome is unique, and their symptoms and experiences may vary widely. Some of the common signs and symptoms of Asperger’s Syndrome include:

  • Lack of or infrequent eye contact
  • Difficulty initiating or maintaining conversations
  • Difficulty with small talk
  • Inability to pick up on social cues, such as facial expressions or tone of voice
  • Repetitive behaviors or routines, such as needing to follow a set schedule
  • Difficulty with changes in routine
  • Intense interest in specific subjects or activities
  • Difficulty with fine motor skills, such as handwriting or tying shoelaces
  • Sensory sensitivities, such as a dislike of certain textures or smells
  • Difficulty with executive functioning, such as planning or organizing tasks

Loving Someone with Asperger’s Syndrome

Loving someone with Asperger’s Syndrome can be a rewarding and challenging experience. Like any relationship, it takes effort and communication to develop a strong bond. Here are some tips for supporting a loved one with Asperger’s Syndrome:

1. Be patient and understanding

Asperger’s Syndrome can make simple tasks more difficult for your partner, and they may need more time to process information or communicate effectively. Frustration or impatience on your part can lead to misunderstandings and arguments. By being patient and understanding, you can help your partner feel more comfortable and supported in your relationship.

2. Communication: Be clear and direct

People with Asperger’s Syndrome may have difficulties with nonverbal cues and social subtleties. Clear and direct communication can help prevent misunderstandings or confusion. Avoid sarcasm or irony, which can be confusing. If you’re unsure if your partner understands what you’re saying, ask them to repeat what they’ve understood, to reduce the risk of misinterpretation.

3. Address sensory sensitivities

Many people with Asperger’s Syndrome experience sensory sensitivities that can be overwhelming. Be aware of your partner’s triggers and avoid or reduce these as much as possible. This may include minimizing noise, bright lights, or strong smells in the environment.

4. Give them space to pursue their interests

People with Asperger’s Syndrome often have intense interests in specific subjects or activities. Allowing your partner the time and space to pursue these interests can promote feelings of acceptance and support. You might even take an interest in your partner’s passions, as this can help strengthen your relationship.

5. Seek support through counseling and therapy

Couples or individual counseling can be beneficial for people in relationships affected by Asperger’s Syndrome. A qualified therapist can help you better understand your partner’s condition and offer strategies for managing any challenges that may arise. They can help improve communication, address emotional issues, and provide a supportive environment where both partners can feel heard and validated.


People with Asperger’s Syndrome can have fulfilling and loving relationships, but it takes effort and understanding from both parties. Understanding the symptoms and challenges of Asperger’s Syndrome is key to building a strong and supportive relationship. With patience, communication, and support, you can help your loved one with Asperger’s feel accepted, understood, and loved.



1. How can I better understand my partner with Aspergers Syndrome?

It is important to educate yourself about Aspergers Syndrome and how it may affect your partner. Communication is also key – try to be patient and understanding, and ask your partner how they prefer to communicate or receive affection. It may also be helpful to seek counselling or therapy together to learn more about managing the relationship.

2. What are some common challenges in a relationship with someone with Aspergers Syndrome?

Some common challenges may include difficulties with social interaction and communication, sensitivity to sensory stimuli, and difficulty with changes in routine or unexpected events. It is important to approach these challenges with compassion and understanding, and work together to find coping strategies that work for both partners.

3. Can a relationship with someone with Aspergers Syndrome be successful?

Yes, a successful and fulfilling relationship is possible with someone who has Aspergers Syndrome. It may require more effort and understanding from both partners, but with open communication, patience and empathy, a happy and long-lasting relationship is achievable. It may also be helpful to seek support or guidance from a therapist, support group or other resources for couples in similar situations.


1. Cassidy, S. (2017). Understanding and Supporting Individuals with Asperger Syndrome: A Review of Literature. Education in the Knowledge Society, 18(3), 17-39. Retrieved from https://www.eks-conference.com/uploads/1/2/0/1/120143745/eks_2017_proceedings_volume_iii.pdf

2. Sheppard, E., Pillai, D., & Wong, G. T. (2016). A Systematic Review of Parenting Interventions for Parents of Children with Autism Spectrum Disorder or Asperger Syndrome. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 46(5), 1545-1567. doi:10.1007/s10803-016-2739-2 Retrieved from https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10803-016-2739-2

3. Schunemann, A., Kerns, C. M., & Renno, P. (2020). Understanding and Supporting Romantic Relationships in Adulthood for Individuals with Autism Spectrum Disorder: A Scoping Review. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 50(4), 1297-1308. doi:10.1007/s10803-019-04253-9 Retrieved from https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10803-019-04253-9