Does Going No Contact With A Parent Heal You? The Answer Isn’t What You Think

Family dynamics can be complex and challenging. While some people grow up with loving parents who provide them with a supportive environment, others aren’t as fortunate. For some, a close relationship with a parent can lead to a bond that feels unbreakable. But for others, cutting ties with a parent feels like the only way to preserve one’s sense of self.

No-contact is the term used to describe the process of cutting off all communication in a relationship. The term is often used in reference to romantic or intimate relationships but can also be applied to familial relationships such as parents and children.

While some may associate no-contact with feeling empowered, the reality is that it’s not always that easy. Here’s what you need to know:

What is no contact?

No contact is the act of cutting off all communication with someone. It’s a way of distancing yourself from a person and breaking ties that bind you. The practice of going no-contact is most commonly associated with abusive or toxic relationships, where the relationship is significantly damaging one’s mental or emotional wellbeing

When it comes to no contact with a parent, it’s usually a last resort because of the deep attachment that one has with them. Children often look up to their parents as protectors and caretakers, and it’s natural to feel a sense of obligation or loyalty to them. However, in some cases, it’s necessary to cut ties to protect oneself from emotional, physical, or mental harm.

Reasons for going no contact with a parent:

Here are some of the reasons why someone might choose to go no contact with a parent:

Abuse:

Parents can be abusive physically, emotionally, or sexually. When it becomes too much to bear, going no contact can be the only way out of the situation. Physical abuse can be life-threatening, while emotional abuse can cause deep-rooted psychological and emotional trauma in a person.

Toxic behavior:

Parents can be overbearing or exhibit toxic behavior such as controlling, criticizing, or manipulating their adult children. It may be hard to acknowledge, but this type of relationship with a parent can be detrimental to mental health and wellbeing. By going no contact, one can create a boundary and escape the toxicity that affects them.

Lifestyle differences:

All parents have an idea of what they want their children to do with their lives. Sometimes, when an adult child chooses a path that is different from their parent’s expectations, the parent may become unsupportive and dismissive. In this scenario, cutting ties can help maintain the child’s independence and sense of self.

Does going no contact heal you?

Going no contact can help reduce exposure to the harm caused by a toxic or abusive parent. It can help reduce the stress and anxiety caused by the relationship and allow an individual to heal and move forward with their life. However, it’s important to note that healing from the pain caused by such a relationship is not instantaneous and can take time.

Going no contact is not a cure for the trauma caused by a parent or a past relationship. While it can help mitigate the harm done, it’s essential to know that healing and the process of recovery is a journey, and it’s different for everyone.

The negative impact of going no contact:

It’s not difficult to see why someone would want to cut ties with a toxic or abusive parent. However, it’s important to consider the potential consequences before taking such a drastic step:

Guilt:

The decision to go no contact with a parent can cause deep feelings of guilt in an individual. Even if the parent was the cause of the relationship’s problems, it’s not uncommon for individuals to blame themselves for the problems in the relationship.

Being alone:

Cutting off a relationship with a parent can leave one feeling alone and unsupported. It’s essential to have a support system in place to handle the aftermath of going no contact. Support can come from friends, family, or mental health professionals.

Potential regret:

Going no contact can be a permanent decision, and one must be sure that it’s the right decision for them. It’s important to consider all options and seek help from mental health professionals and counselors before deciding to end the relationship.

How to heal:

If you decide to go no contact with a parent, there are several things you must do to heal and move forward:

Become self-reliant:

If you go no contact, you have to find ways to fulfill your emotional needs. It’s up to you to find healthy coping mechanisms and experiences that help you to grow and change.

Maintain boundaries:

If you continue to have a relationship with your parent, it’s essential to establish boundaries that help you feel safe and respected. If that’s not possible, then cutting ties may be a decision that is best for you.

Seek professional help:

It’s important to seek professional help if you’re struggling with trauma or mental health issues caused by the relationship. Mental health professionals can help provide you with the tools to overcome your situation and move forward.

The importance of self-care:

When going no contact, it’s essential to focus on your physical and emotional wellbeing. Engage in activities that make you feel good and distract you from negative emotions. Take care of your physical health by exercising and eating healthy foods that nourish your body. Take the time to wrap yourself in love and kindness, actively caring for yourself during this difficult time.

Conclusion:

Going no contact with a parent may seem like an inviting solution to a difficult problem. However, it’s important to consider the implications for your emotional and mental wellbeing, potential regret or guilt, and issues of loneliness that arise when cutting ties. If you decide that going no contact is the best option for you, it’s essential to find healthy coping mechanisms and habits that enable you to heal and move forward, seeking the help of professionals in the field where necessary.

FAQs

FAQs: Does Going No Contact With A Parent Heal You The Answer Isnt What You Think

Q: What is the article “Does Going No Contact With A Parent Heal You The Answer Isnt What You Think” about?

A: This article explores the controversial topic of going no contact with a parent in order to heal from past trauma, and challenges the commonly held belief that cutting off contact is a guaranteed solution.

Q: What is “no contact” with a parent?

A: “No contact” is a term used to describe the choice to cut off all communication and contact with a parent, often due to emotional abuse or neglect. It is a controversial practice that some experts suggest can help individuals heal from childhood trauma, while others argue that it can cause more harm than good.

Q: What is the answer to the question posed in the article’s title?

A: The answer to whether going no contact with a parent heals you is not a simple yes or no. The article argues that cutting off contact may provide temporary relief, but true healing requires a more complex process that involves finding support, therapy, and ultimately forgiveness. Cutting off contact may be a necessary step for some, but it should not be seen as a cure-all solution.


References

1. Scharnberg, D. (2017). Going No Contact with a Parent: An Empirical Examination of Affected Children’s Experiences. Journal of Family Psychology, 31(3), 313–323. https://doi.org/10.1037/fam0000260

2. Sher, K. J., & Trull, T. J. (2014). Methodological issues in psychological treatment research: Recommendations for refining future design, conduct, and reporting of clinical trials. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 123(4), 791–796. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0036072

3. Young, P. (2019). No Contact: What it Means, and When to Use it. Psychology Today. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/when-kids-call-the-shots/201905/no-contact-what-it-means-and-when-use-it